Ivypaw, My turn
by Zetherena
Summary: Honestly, I don't think it's very fair that my own sister gets all the attention. Maby I'm over-reacting. I'll let you be the judge of that. All I want is to live at peace with everyone, especially my sister. It's too bad fate laughs at my face every time
1. Little intruduction

The night is my favorite time of day now. Because when I'm curled up in my ball on my nest at night with the trees singing me soft lullabies and the moon being more of a protective, older sister to me than Dovepaw is to me anymore. I know I can act cold towards her sometimes, but she's still my sister and no one or anything, or anything she could do or anyone else can take that away from me.

I just wish she were like she used to be, the carefree, excited, bubbly she-cat I know she still is. But where the old, her, was carefree, now she was guarded and stuck in her own world that didn't involve me anymore, and she used to be, always, always, happy of everything and cheerful (bubbly), but I saw when the tree crashed, while Briarpaw was pinned under it's limbs, even after Lionblaze got her out, her spirit was still stuck under that huge limb. Talk bad about her and I'll give a look that would send chills up an ax' murderer's spine. Then chop you up and feed you to the fish that live in our quaint little lake. I'm sure RiverClan will thank me for that. Fattening up the fish, I mean.

Too, bad she won't see that. I don't think anyone would. To the clan I probable look like the rebel, the free spirit.I'm always the one that, 'can't be tamed'. But I'm not like that. Okay so I probable am like that but deep down, my priorities are still my sister, my clan, and life. But enough of that, because for once, maybe you'll think of my sister and I as equals. Because that's what I want. To forget this all, and wake up tomorrow and live like everything's perfect. But, my life will be a little more dramatic than that.


	2. Training with Hawkfrost

Sorry 'bout the last chapter. It really sucked…hopefully this one will be longer, and better. There's a song that sorta goes with this chap. It's called Secrets by Onerepublic

Disclaimer: I don't own a thing (What even is a disclaimer?)

The still morning air stung like a thin coat of embers on Ivypaw's skin, or at least that's what her senses told her. She shook herself, more aware that she was at the meadow next to the horse place. Ivypaw sighed in comfort as she let her senses roam in peace.

After stretching awhile she looked around to see that Hawkfrost, her sub-conscience mentor and the one that was helping her rise up to be just as good as her 'fame-struck' sister, was nowhere to be found. Ivypaw's lips tightened and eventually relaxed as she thought back to the past.

Just a few moons ago Ivypaw was only a regular apprentice, except everyone, including herself, underestimated her, thanks to the ultra-high expectations her sister Dovepaw, had set for her. Maybe even the older apprentices know that she thought of it.

Only they wouldn't feel the pressure like she did, if they did feel any pressure. She just _knew_ she had to become equal, if not better.

At first it wasn't much of a problem. Sure she was jealous that Dovepaw could go on the mission, even though she was the only apprentice, just like her. But after Dovepaw told her everything about her quest, she decided she might even be lucky that she didn't go.

_What if I'm not strong enough to see a cat die, or know that I might, at any moment?_

_No._ Ivypaw shook the thought from her mind._ You_ are_ strong enough, and always were. Thanks to the help I've had from Hawkfrost and his father. Even though Tigerstar gives off bad vibes._

No. It didn't matter that much anymore now StarClan cats were mentoring her!

_But then there's the battle between ThunderClan and ShadowClan. They haven't said a thing about that, even though the battle was only yesterday. Stop, Ivypaw. You can't doubt. You have to be strong and fearless, like your starry friends here want you to be._

Suddenly, a harsh "Ivypaw", was all she heard from Hawkfrost before she felt pain blossom on her left ear. Weak enough to get her attention but strong enough to keep her concentrated so she'd stay steady and not let her legs buckle underneath.

Weakness was the last thing she wanted to demonstrate in front of him. _My way of thinking has changed slightly, too. _Ivypaw thought. _My mental line between strong and weak has thinned, for example. And I won't just not allow myself do anything stupid, I can't _let_ myself, even if no one will care or if it's so I can lift someone's spirits. _

Even with all her self-control making her body not to yelp in surprise, and in pain, she found herself at a loss of breath and gasped in to breathe. Seconds later she forced her body to cooperate and breathe steadily.

Lifting her head she saw that Hawkfrost was now sitting down, looking at her with a gaze to compete with an owl's. Studying him, for a while not caring about the anger he could probable see in her eyes she realized that his tail was twitching impatiently and his face, usually a void of any feeling other than calmness was twisted with restraint, his eyes looked like the waters stirring and crashing with waves stormy and very _un-_calm. She immediately erased the all traces of and anger in less time that he could blink.

Clearing his throat, he asked with faux curiosity," Ivypaw, do you enjoy being taught by us?"

"W-well, of course", she said, stuttering in shock and surprise.

"You made me better a better me and taught me to get rid of my echoes and Dovepaw. Showed me to rise from the dirt like a tree." Ivypaw concluded breathlessly. There wasn't any stopping the tide of emotion that was overcoming her.

Her feelings were only mixes and jumbles of words and thoughts that didn't make sense to her. Jealousy, anger, pride, ambition, sisterly love, fondness of others; Ivypaw shut herself from the waves of emotions that threatened to drown her. She didn't notice that he was still now standing up, hovering over her until she looked up into his eyes.

His eyes no longer contained the unexplainable storm in them but a mask of understanding and kindness. He bent down and gave her a friendly lick between the ears.

"Well then next time don't stand there like a frozen mouse minutes after I find you", his voice was firm, but held a note of humor. I'm sorry if I hit you too hard. Sometimes I forget that you are still only an apprentice." Only those two sentences, from him could give her a sense of protection and warm. Like the way she felt around her father when she was a kit.

But of course the memory gave her a stab of disappointment. Her father treated her and her sister the same, which was fine, only she could cut the pride he had for Dovepaw with her claw. _Now trained and deadly,_ she couldn't help feel proud of herself for a moment.

It _did_ feel _so good _to be treated like an equal, _for once!_ _But even I _have _to admit it would be nice to be first for once._ Everyone in the clan knew that Whitewing at least _acted,_ if not thought,that Dovepaw was so _special. Maybe she can't help it._

But if Ivypaw were a flower, another one of her petals would've wilted of._ It's okay, though. Everyone knows the old has to die before the new can grow._ For once she didn't mind much.

As she crouched down and she prepared to do the new move Hawkfrost had just demonstrated she had no idea how she made sense of the blur of words she just heard. _It will always be a mystery. _She had to smile.

As she ran up to confront him she faked a jump over him, fooling the tom, and then dove under his stretched legs to butt her head with all her strength into his lower stomach.

The impact left him soaring through the air and landed him on the ground with a _THUD!_ She knew this would only shock him for few precious moments, so she ran over to him, tackling him and quickly set her fangs on the soft spot on his neck. She knew better than to set her teeth at all, in a real battle her victim would be thrashing, and no more than a half-inch deep into his neck would paralyze him, or worse, send him to StarClan.

No matter how great she would turn out to be from all these exercises, she didn't want to kill anyone as an apprentice. Maybe a one or two when she _had_ to, but she really didn't want to be known as a killer at all.

The thoughts that kept ringing in her head over and over were the ones Hawkfrost told her not to ignore._ Listen to them, they might tell you something you don't know._ She could remember the exact words that he said.

Only now the thought were driving her to insanity while getting overloaded and going overboard, replaying again and again in her mind like the series of movements she needed to perfect to learn a move and outdo her future opponent.

_Just like echoes,_ she thought. After a five second judgment she tossed her cargo into the lake, sunk the ship, and swam to shore where she could concentrate on what her 'mentor', was teaching her.

"-And no more echoes", Ivypaw didn't hear Hawkfrost's first words, but she threw her head back and gave a yowl of approval. She looked back to see her trainer smiling at her, his eyes filled with pride and amusement dancing to a complicated song.

" Good job. It makes me proud to see you're so enthusiastic", he said. Nodding his approval.

" Am I going to go back to the hollow now?", she questioned.

"No. You're going to have more time than usual".

In her excitement, she forgot to ask questions, forgot to care.

_Well, It gives me more to time to get answers,_ Hawkfrost thought. _It's too bad her clan mates would get worried. But thanks to the battle she just had, they'll only think it was a bad injury._

Hawkfrost gave himself a sly smile. He just _had_ to plan everything so perfectly. Ivypaw was more than a pawn; she was a queen. But they're all controlled by someone, or in this case, cats. And Ivypaw had been choosing her side, and it was a lot darker than white.

The sky was a pale grey and fingers of red and yellow were starting to stretch over the scattered puffs of clouds. Dovepaw woke up to the feeling of a paw poking into her side. She groaned, again, thinking it was Ivypaw again. She'd never know what her sister was dreaming of.

"Dovepaw", she heard the sound of her mentor hissing her name and pried an eye open while slowly getting up.

"What?" She hissed, very annoyed.

"Get up. We're on dawn patrol. If you get on your paws fast enough, we can take Cinderpelt and Ivypaw."

No longer than he finish the words Dovepaw was on her feet. Lionblaze chuckled and padded away.

_Maybe I'll be able to ask her what's been wrong lately,_ Dovepaw thought as she prodded her sister with a paw.

_She's not waking up,_ Dovepaw was starting to panic. Without a second thought she leapt out of the apprentices' den and charged towards Lionblaze, howling his name once to get his attention away from Brambleclaw.

"I-Ivypaw isn't waking up", she stuttered. The reality of the words hitting her like ten blows to her head.

Both Brambleclaw and Lionblaze were looking alarmed. _How could this have happened to such a strong apprentice,_ was the question that ran through all their heads. Brambleclaw was the first to react.

"Dovepaw go alert Jayfeather. Lionblaze check for a pulse and take her to the medicine cat's den." _If she's still alive._ The word cut through Dovepaw's heart like a claw, and with that she ran to her destination, catching his last words." I'll go tell Firestar", with that the toms left.

Dovepaw ran across the camp, noticing the questioning looks cast from the cats that were awakened by the commotion. Ignoring them, she finally reached her destination.

"Jayfeather, Ivypaw's not waking up! Lionblaze is coming with her now." She exclaimed, finally taking a deep breath.

Jayfeather cocked an eyebrow, looking confused. "Tell me everything", he said as he turned to get the herbs he needed.

As Lionblaze came in Dovepaw explained the morning events in a tumble.

As Jayfeather finished examining her, he gave Ivypaw the necessary medicine and turned to tell them both.

"It is very likely that she'll survive, she must've taken a bad blow to her head because it fractured her skull, making her black out. She should be okay as long as she doesn't start internally bleeding. But it really is confusing how this could've happened.

_Oh, Ivypaw._ Her sister thought._ How could this have happened to you? _ Only Lionblaze and Jayfeather were asking themselves the same thing.


End file.
